Tonight instead of reading a few books to you, Athena, I decided to go through the first 100 items of a book called 1001 Things Your Kids Should See and Do (Or Else They'll Never Leave Home). Here are some of things you and I decided we could highlight as done.
1. They need to see that you love them completely. The way they are. (The fact that you feel this way does wonders for my soul)
3. They need to see you light up when they get home from school. Or when you get home from work. (It was beautiful to see you light up with joy as you enthusiastically agreed to this one.)
7. They need to take a nap with their dog. (So you can see how delicious it is to sleep with a warm little body)
9. They need to trust, at a very early age, that home is safe. ( I have tried so hard to do this and it has cost me much; emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially but I can see it has been well worth it.)
10. They need to see your face in the crowd at their soccer games and band concerts. Cheering. Not yelling. ( I hope you never get tired of me being your biggest fan)
11. They need to build a birdhouse. ( I've been watching you build stuff for a long time and nothing brings me greater joy than to watch you know are capable of creating.)4
17. They need to develop a sense of adventure. The younger the better. (Me: Athena, do we have adventures? Athena: OMG! Mami so many and since I can remember! DROP THE MIC)
18. They need to be assigned chores. Even if it's just cleaning their room. (Your loud groaning and moaning let's me know we have definitely achieved this one!)
24. They need to see you reading your Bible. At home. ( You said you saw it all the time but I honestly feel like I could do it way more)
26. They need to know who they are: their full name, address, their mom and dad's full names, and phone number. ( You sang it all to me....anything we put to music you remember. This is so very important to me and always has been. I never want you to lose me or me lose you. This way we can always find our way back to each other.)
28. They need to see you struggle with difficulties. (When I said I know you had seen this I was thinking such deep and profound things and you said, "Oh year, definitely ....traffic!"<--this kid!)
30. They need to listen to a storyteller at the library. (You said, Mami we are professionals at this. I can't begin to tell you how happy this makes me. Life is all about the stories we hear and the stories we tell. For you to know this at 6 makes my chest swell with pride.)
37. They need to go fishing. And learn the mystery of anticipation. (You did that this past summer 2016 with PAPA at Aunt LuAnn's pond and I think it might have just been the highlight of all of our lives. It's like Jehovah knew you were there because not only were you the only one who caught a fish but you caught two back to back. And your joy and excitement was beyond priceless.)
38. They need to hear for themselves that a Monster Truck Show may just be the noisiest thing in the world. ( You started cracking up and said "Oh man, yeah, I need the ear muffs, I was like yeah people I need the earmuffs." You were so little. How the hell could you possibly remember? But you did. And it blows my mind)
41.They need to take care of another living thing. A goldfish is the beginning of responsibility. ( Which is EXACTLY why I don't care how much you complain, you will always feed the dogs, help me bathe them and walk them. You'll thank me later)
48. They need to make a best friend. And be one. (According to you, you have SOOOOO many of those but knowing what I know after all these years you don't know what a best friend is yet, but I will help you learn. I want you to be best friends with all my best friend's kids. Here's hoping, so far so good.)
49. They need to sit on the roof and get another perspective of their world. (You emphatically said you had done this at Kellen's house. It makes me happy that even though it hasn't always been with me you still have experienced some of these things. Makes me realize you will do and see things all the time without me and I have to start learning that is ok.)
57. They need to open a Kool-Aid stand. (Again you did this at Kellen's and that is totally fine. But I want to do this with you too. We will.)
63. They need to see you at work. <Right now, they think you just read a newspaper all day.> (You have been to work so many times you could probably teach my class, and I freaking love that. You want to emulate me in every sense of the word.)
69. They need to learn what's flushable. Tissue is. Root beer bottles, dolls, and toy cars are not. ( I think that's pretty self explanatory.)
72. They need to stop eating when they're full. Not when their plate is clean. (Not even joking, you said, "Yeah, it's not like slave days where they would whip you if you didn't finish their plate." UMMMMMM ok well I can tell you're studying black history right now and it's cool, I can dig it."
73. They need to see pictures of themselves when they were babies. (We literally said AT THE EXACT SAME TIME, "Oh my God, YES! And video's too." And then we cracked up. Life is good!)
74. They need to see pictures of you when you were their age. Expect howls of laughter. (You never thought seeing me was funny. You always say, "Awwwww how cute!" I love this!)
87. They need to make cookies. This involved reading, hand-eye coordination, and self-denial when it comes to the cookie dough. (You made sure to remind me that your favorite part of making cookies and just anything in general is to eat the raw form of it....why i ought toooooooo......!)
90. They need to turn off the television. (We don't turn on the television in this house unless it's movie night. I don't even know how to work that damn thing!)
94. They need to clean up a room before they leave it. (I try to make sure you do this as much as possible. This is so important to me as a teacher with 22 students and 15-20 centers. I can't clean up after them all nor would I want to and I can't stand it when people play with you and don't clean up after themselves. So I try to make sure you do this as often as possible.)
Out of 100 things so far this is not so bad. I am so proud of all the things we highlighted. But more than anything I am elated that you have so many fond memories in life and you're only 6. This experience with you opened my eyes to how you see your world. It was so incredibly fascinating for me to hear you say when I read 35. They need to learn life is not all about them., "Mmmmmm mami, I am definitely still working on that." Watching you participate in the meta-cognition of your life, your experiences; the sum of you, was quite honestly, breath-taking. Yes, Athena, I miss the baby you once were more than anything in the world. I miss your chunky thighs and your needy coo's. I miss being the one you relied on for everything in your life. But listening to you tell me what you had seen and done made me realize that with each passing day there is an adventure, a new stage or phase, another fleeting moment that I should step back and appreciate. Hearing you reflect, was for me, a physical manifestation of all the hard work I have done for the past six years of your life. And when I said, "This makes me emotional Athena, it makes me feel like maybe I haven't been such a failure after all." your response was life itself. " Mami, why would you think you're a failure? No way .You're an awesomure!" Then my dear, today, after all of that, you will never hear me repeat those words again, not even as a silly joke. If I am awesomure, it's' only because you helped make me that. I love you panini!
